Photo by Teresa Jones

The first time Tolman had felt anxious or depressed was in seventh grade. However, she was not able to receive any help until she was a sophomore at Montana State University, and by then she had developed a severe mental illness. While in college, she was able to go to Montana State University Health Services as a crisis patient and was prescribed medication. “It was a big milestone to get formally diagnosed because I had just thought I was crazy, or something was wrong with me … It was so heavily stigmatized in the community that if you had depression, you were broken,” Tolman recalled. Despite getting diagnosed, it still took time for her to discover the tools she needed to heal. “I had no idea how to find healing, because no one in my family had successfully managed any of their mental illnesses.”

For a long time, the attitude in the West has been to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, do it on your own, and not let other people see you struggling. “And, if they saw you struggling, then you would get kind of excluded and ostracized,” Tolman explained. Such an attitude can cause people to feel isolated from others around them, and it often erodes a sense of community. Throughout her time at MSU, Tolman has been able to learn that depending on people for help is not a sign of weakness. She has been able to find healing by balancing independence and connection. Tolman explains, “We need to be able to learn how to get through things on our own, but I feel like you should always have a choice. We shouldn't be forced to go through it all alone. I had found through relationships how to heal and to be able to manage my mental illnesses, and this should be accessible and available to everyone.”

Tolman graduated MSU in May 2020 after four years of study with a Bachelor of Science in neuroscience and biochemistry, and dual minors in global health and biomedical engineering. While her achievements are extensive, they required immense dedication and perseverance. During her undergraduate senior year, Tolman had been planning on attending medical school, but she found herself really struggling with her mental health. “I kind of reached this breaking point where I no longer felt like I was able to live this double life; where I was really successful academically, and I was going to do an MD or PhD—and things were great—and then at home I was just completely falling apart.”

Ultimately, Tolman decided that attending medical school would prevent her from taking care of her mental health. However, her decision to forgo the program helped her to acknowledge her own mental health struggles—inspiring her to reach out to others. Instead of pursuing an MD, Tolman decided to invest her time in starting a nonprofit: Positivity Outward. Its pilot program officially launched on March 14, and Tolman is currently preparing for a full launch this September. Positivity Outward utilizes an online platform to connect rural, middle, and high school students with mentors who guide reflections on topics like mental health, self-discovery, and college or career preparation. 

Tolman’s inspiration for Positivity Outward stemmed from her own experiences growing up in rural areas with limited resources for mental health. She hopes that her nonprofit can empower rural youths by providing the skills and tools needed for connection, confidence, and well-being—resources she did not have growing up. “The tools that saved my life are the ones Positivity Outward provides to the students.”

Although Tolman decided to forgo medical school, she’s still eager to learn and be involved in the academic community. Tolman is currently obtaining a Master of Science degree in innovation and management through MSU’s Jake Jabs College of Business and Entrepreneurship to learn more about operating a nonprofit. Come fall, she plans to begin pursuing her Ph.D. in psychology at the University of California Riverside, where she will continue developing and advancing Positivity Outward through research-based models.